I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’
Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.
me: *sobbing in the woods*
The eldritch horror that’s been watching me from behind a tree: ….Red Lobster’s hiring.
me: *turns around* oh shit fr?
(bad) Idea: Pronoun selections for multiple pronoun users where you have the ability to set relative rates of each pronoun. Like maybe like:
ALTSee you could set relative frequencies of each pronoun, and order them.
And yes I did mock this up using Visual Basic 6. That's just how my brain works.
What do you mean bad idea? Give an output to this and you have a training tool for boomers and people my age who used X86 OS’s that inherently understand this input but don’t understand how pronouns correspond to mental logic.
On that note, people my age might not be as accepting of body dysmorphia and treatment/acceptance of mental problems, but they’re just as susceptible to the issue. Making an understandable, familiar UI for learning it really isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever considered.
Make them think they thought of it.
I bought this as a surprise for my bestie for christmas on (Insert shady chinese site here) and it was supposed to be like. Poster size. I am shook by how huge this is. I have to upgrade the shipping size to accommodate this.
I am crying.
WHAT
Pusheen is married?!?
PUSHEEN HAS BABIES?!?!?
Queen Of Keeping Personal And Professional Lives Seperate
SINCE WHEN IS PUSHEEN A GIRL
an absolute queen. her birthday is febuary 18th
she's Irish
Pusheen fucks
Everyone wish Pusheen a happy birthday!
Happy birthday @pusheen!!
Show some respect, people.
THANK YOU
The story of Balto is interesting. He led a team of sled dogs across the Alaskan wilderness in the dead of winter with diphtheria antitoxins to stop an outbreak in Nenana Alaska. Diphtheria is a deadly infectious disease that could wipe out a third of a town’s population. It is mostly unknown to the public today because of vaccines. Balto’s body is preserved in the Cleveland Museum of Natural History.
He’s a big hero of mine!
Let’s not forget Togo! Who, at 12 years old during the serum run, lead his team 200 miles through much more dangerous conditions during the first leg of the journey before Balto ran the last 55-mile stretch.
Togo and Balto didn’t bust their asses for dying children for you to turn around and not vaccinate your damn kids
The actual story is fascinating.
The town of Nome, situated in Western Alaska, was a relative hub for even smaller communities in the region, but in winter was utterly cut off from… nearly everywhere. The harbour iced over in winter, there were no roads connecting it anywhere else, the nearest railroad line was nearly 700 miles (1000+ kilometres) away in Nenana. Air travel was still new at the time and planes couldn’t handle the inclement winter weather.
In 1924, the community had a single doctor and a few nurses who served approximately 10 000 people, including large Eskimo populations in the area (the town itself had a population of roughly 1000 people - bear in mind how few children lived in this community when you see the casualty counts). He had realized his diphtheria vaccine stock was expired and had ordered more from mainland USA months earlier. When it failed to arrive on the final ship of the season, he was a little concerned, but diphtheria was fairly rare, and he figured he’d just restock in the spring.
Of all the rotten luck, January 1925 was when a diphtheria outbreak hit the region.
There was a scramble, in the mainland USA as well as Alaska, to find a way to get the vaccine to this town in the middle of winter. There were attempts to fly a vaccine supply over, but the planes were grounded by storms. This was part of the United States in the 1920s. There was no way to get there.
Except by sled dogs, running the vaccine from that train station in Nenana, 674 miles away. Over 1000 kilometres away, in the dead of winter in Alaska, by 20 mushers (mostly native Athabaskans) and 150 sled dogs running in relay, switching off at tiny villages and rest stations along the way. It was bitterly cold. As in, -85°F (-60°C) at the coldest. There were blizzards, hurricane force winds, and at some points visibility was so poor the men couldn’t see their dogs in front of them.
No man or beast should have been out in that. You freeze in seconds if you’re not moving. Multiple dogs died from being run so hard in such cold weather. Mushers grappled with hypothermia and frostbite. One needed hot water poured over his frozen hands because he was frozen to his sled. Another’s face was black with frostbite. Some strapped themselves up and lead their packs when their lead dogs collapsed.
This relay team traveled 674 miles in 5.5 days. Togo and his owner, Leonhard Seppala, did by far the longest and most dangerous run, travelling over 260 miles (about 420 kilometres) including the initial travel to his pickup spot. Gunnar Kaasen and his lead dog, Balto, did the final 53 miles (85 kilometres) into Nome, where they were greeted as heroes.
Prior to the vaccine arriving in Nome, 5-7 children officially died of diphtheria, with dozens of confirmed cases who may well have died without treatment - but it’s suspected the surrounding Indigenous communities were much harder hit, with numbers impossible to confirm.
When you think that this happened less than 100 years ago, how desperate this community was for a vaccine, how much these mushers risked and lost to get it to this town as fast as they possibly could…
I wonder what they’d think of people today.
(this is the Iditarod. this trek to deliver vaccines was so important, that we immortalized it the way we immortalized the marathon.)
This does not even begin to cover the weirdness of cathode ray televisions.
They are literally particle accelerators that you point at your face.
And for eighty years, Americans' favorite thing to do was turn them on and stare at them for hours.
If you overcharge them, they emit gamma radiation.
Servicing them is like disarming a bomb -- their capacitors are enormous and are usually charged to hundreds or thousands of volts, and most of them have no bleed system that drains that charge, meaning that they can still be dangerous months or years after the last time they were powered up. A discharge can not only electrocute you, it can cause tools to melt or explode.
A black-and-white cathode ray TV driven by an unmodulated analog signal is theoretically capable of resolution that would require a microscope to perceive.
Old school CRT monitors had the same issues.
Back when, I worked at a small whitebox pc manufacturer. One day, a service tech brought back an older, gigantic (30 inch or so) AutoCAD monitor from a service call. The customer said "Made me feel nauseous"
So, we put it on the bench and fired it up. You immediately felt the hair on your body stand up, and my co worker put his hand up close to turn the power off, and his hand and forearm started spasming - I yanked the power cord from the wall as the tingle I was feeling began to feel hot.
No idea what was wrong with the thing, but it was kicking out some serious electro magnetic radiation.
Remembering the almost imperceptible high pitched buzzing that let you know the tv was still on even when nothing was on the screen. Also putting your forearm near the screen and watching the hairs stand up
The little crackle if you touched the screen to wipe it...
Omg no one's even talking about the smell of the screen
This is both horrifying to read and nostalgic
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
:)
Do Not Do This To Me
if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it
Achievement Unlocked:
Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber
Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.
Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts
Ok!
1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass
1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12
I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees
I’ll write a hauiku
as a comment on this post
and hope the bot sees
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Pretty horse!
ok.
CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!
/200K
$0
I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!
the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?
oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby
If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.
@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D
TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN
to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses
I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure
Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about
tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart
tag all you moots this is not an option
also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well
@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
ON IT BESTIE!
im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen
NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
oh and @probablyautism here u go luv
CMON FOLKS
DO IT
here you are!!
@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.
@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here's Aziraphale in disguise:
And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
hi jeff (:
I just texted @one-time-i-dreamt
i don't what's more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt 's phone number
I have been summoned many, many times
This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!
The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can't miss my turn with the knife.
Has anyone asked @osha-unofficial if it’s safe for OP to eat this post once it hits 200k?
That would fall under @fda-official's jurisdiction, I believe.
Well they haven’t been around since 2021 so I don’t think they’ll be much help…
Maybe @staffs-secret-blog can point us in the direction of a good alternative?
Who cares if it's safe eat it anyway
Okay but why did nobody mention @did-caesar-die-years-ago-today ?
That's me!
the desire to pronounce words as they are said in their source language for the sake of accuracy vs the desire to not sound like a complete tool
Pronounce everything wrong and when you’re called out on it, laugh and say it’s “the joke” with no further elaboration and walk away. I’ve been doing this for years.
I’m dyslexic, speak six languages with ESL. People just think I can’t english good since I grew up around non English people. Make sure you slip some easy stuff in as actual jokes in obvious ways. I use silly stuff here and there like “Wootah” and “Compootar” or so.
Grew up reading books. Can’t pronounce nothin. No one can tell I have no skills.
- Anonymous
- sent a message
whags a group of isopods called?
- facts-i-just-made-up
- answered
A Pod O’ Isopod.
- handful-of-worms
- answered
They dont have an official name so i vote we just go with this and call them a pod
- facts-i-just-made-up
- answered
No- They’re not called a pod of isopods, they’re called a pod o’ isopod of isopods.
- godmybackhurts
- answered
Pretty sure they're called a pill bottle
- facts-i-just-made-up
- answered
Pill bugs specifically can be a Bottle, but they can also be a Mash of Potato Bugs; a Rolling Polycule of Roly Polies; a Diddlebag of Doodlebugs; or an Armada of Armadillidiidae.
- superespresso
- answered
C'mon man. A doodl'pods.
- necroangelz
- sent a message
what's space like
- facts-i-just-made-up
- answered
About five times longer than the other keys.
honestly kinda hyped for the ides of march this year like that’s my super bowl or whatever it is straight men are into
that’s the shit
\_(ツ)_/¯ Personally I think it explains itself.
Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess
it gets worse: funi had an option to buy anime outright. but, it was bought digitally, and now CR has said that they're not going to honor that, so if you bought anything from funi digitally, CR are taking that away from you
This is absolutely insane but the part that I find funny is that there isn't a community on earth more dedicated to piracy than western anime fans. For ages the only way to even get your hands on anime and manga in the west was piracy. I literally don't think Crunchyroll could have picked a worse group to try the "we're a monopoly so we can charge you whatever we want" play on. I doubt there's a person over the age of 25 who saw that and thought anything other than "welp, okay, piracy it is then!" like honestly the Crunchyroll executives are out of their fucking minds with this one.
Bold move from the website that used to be one of the top anime streaming piracy sites in the first place.
The worst part of this for people that stick with Crunchy is.. it’s 2024 and shows that have only aired on Crunchyroll still don’t have Closed Captioning if you’re trying to listen and watch in the same language. I’m hearing impaired and it made trying to watch Trigun an absolute nightmare since I can barely hear out of one side of my head.
I ended up having to use a really crummy workaround. It worked but I wasn’t overly pleased. IOS and Android both have the option, and emulation of both will satisfy it. In iOS you can use Live Caption (which I found to be Superior but Android’s is fine as well and easier to emulate. I just screenplayed my iPad to the tv.) They will NEVER be perfect, but.. it is what it is.
On IOS:
You can use this guide for Ipad or Iphone. It’s the same. I just have a button in my dockbar now.
>Go to Settings > Accessibility > Live Captions, then turn on Live Captions (Beta).
You should get a CC bar over all live or spoken audio detected through the device now, including phone calls (which is great if you have hearing issues! Make a button for it in your hot dock!)
On ANDROID:
A bit less familiar with this and every version is different, but the Google Guide linked here should help. Seems simple enough.
> Press the volume button. > Under the volume controls, tap Live Caption Live Caption Subtitles.
Tip: If these steps don’t work, you may need to first turn on Live Caption in your device’s Accessibility settings.
Seems like unless you have a Pixel it will only work for playing audio and video, but otherwise it works the same as the IOS version.
With both options you can screenplay, chromecast, or use an HDMI to export the video to a bigger screen. That’s what I do. Or, just emulate the app in a Android/iOS emulator and watch it on PC entirely… or just keep it on a phone/tablet.. or Android OS-based TV. I’m not your mother.
Hopefully this helps someone hearing impaired like me who just.. has the option to use Crunchy and doesn’t because there is no accessibility in it. They don’t air live on any broadcast network so they’re not legally required to comply with the FCC standardization for broadcast media.
Personally, I feel the more people abandon the site the more they’re going to have to reconsider the hike. It’s insane that for a choice they made with 0 input from the people footing the bill (essentially “shareholders” now) that they’re demanding such a dramatic change.